flower sun

(no subject)

From now on, this is FRIENDS ONLY =)
Feel free to comment, I'll probably add you if we have interests in common, or if you have a good reason why I should add you =)
(banner by marciavandecamp) thanks!
  • Current Mood
    okay okay
flower sun

(no subject)

So today was a whole lot better than yesterday. I decided that I'm not gonna worry/be sad/be angry about schoolstuff anymore. It's so useless and silly =P.
Oh, and I did a quiz =P
Your Life Path Number is 9

Your purpose in life is to make the world better

You are very socially conscious and a total idealist.
You think there are many things wrong with the world, and you want to fix them.
You have a big idea of how to world could be, and you'll sacrifice almost anything to work towards this dream.

In love, you can easily see the beauty in someone else. And you never cling too tightly.

You are capable of great love, but it's hard for you to focus your love on one person or relationship.
You have a lot of outward focus, and you tend to blame the world for your failures.
You are often disappointed by the realities of life - it's hard for you to accept the shortcomings of the world.

It actually sounds kinda like me =P
  • Current Music
    Avril Lavigne - Happy Ending ...it's stuck in my head
flower sun

(no subject)

The world is such a crazy, silly, pretty place.
Most of the time I think of it as crazy. Everything about it, is just crazy. It is so hot that people are dying. At the same time I am having a lazy vacation. At the very same time a new tsunami strikes Java. Also happening at the same time: me wondering whether or not I should go online AGAIN...worrying about whether or not I should. And I'm still, still thinking about Amanda. Actually I'm thinking about nothing else, only when I'm reading =). And then there's this thing in Lebanon. The fights, the chaos. And I'm thinking whether I should take a job to make extra money. Such differences...It is SO weird.
But sometimes, I love everything about the world (hah, now I'm really starting to sound like a mushy old person, lol). When I feel like I can do whatever I want, the TOTAL freedom to do whatever I want...then I'm happy. Or when I've just read a good book or seen a good movie.
And I know that I'm repeating myself

But seriously, for a part of my happiness I'll have to thank Amanda ♥

  • Current Music
    Dresden Dolls - Mandy goes to medschool
flower sun

(no subject)

I went to this dreaminterpretationsite, and it was scary...all the symbols in my dream (snow, letters...) are meaning that I'm losing contact with reality and that I'm lonely.
The scary part is that I don't know whether that's true. I can't say it isn't. Can't say it is, either.
I haven't lost contact with reality (yet?), but I'm often alone. But that's because I want to be alone. I like hanging out with people, don't get me wrong, but just occasionally. I like being alone. It has nothing to do with loneliness. More with chosen solitude, I guess.
I shouldn't believe anything that site says, I know. But the thing is that I can't deny it might contain some kind of truth.
Oh what the heck...I love Amanda. Period. Nothing else, nothing more. Just love her.
  • Current Music
    Dresden Dolls - Sing
flower sun

(no subject)

Ok, 2 things to tell:
1. The German girl didn't ditch me. Gee, I shouldn't be so insecure everytime I tell someone I like girls. It's stupid. I always think they will bail on me.
2. I even dreamt about Amanda last night. Now I love her even more.
  • Current Music
    Dresden Dolls - Sing
flower sun

(no subject)

Seriously, there are days when I'm just thinking 'What the Hell?!*...I get so confused sometimes, with no reason. Today is one of those days. The sun's burning outside, I've got a thousand things to do but I don't seem to remember one of them, Girl Anachronism is stuck in my head, I'm reading Amanda's writing and all I can think is: 'OMG I'm crushing so badly on someone I'll never get, this is weird...' and I made peace with the fact that I'm never gonna get HER, but I'm glad she's my friend now. That's at least something. She's sooo much fun.
Oh, and it seems like the German girl ditched me now that she knows I like girls. But I'm not sure. Maybe her computer's just broken. I don't know. I don't really care either. It's her problem. Oh the world is SO complicated *sigh*

coin operated boy

coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but i turn him on and he comes to life
automatic joy
that is why i want a coin operated boy

made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend....

coin operated boy
all the other real ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll
never let him go and i'll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy......

this bridge was written to make you feel smittener
with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
i didnt think so but im still convinceable
will you persist even after i bet you
a billion dollars that i'll never love you
will you persist even after i kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
i'm dying to lose it...
i want it
i want you
i want a coin operated boy.

and if i had a star to wish on
for my life i cant imagine
any flesh and blood could be his match
i can even take him in the bath

coin operated boy
he may not be real experienced with girls
but i know he feels like a boy should feel
isnt that the point that is why i want a
coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that hes thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want
a coin operated boy.

I can't help it. Have you ever been so obsessed by something you couldn't think about anything/anyone else, litterally? I know how it feels.
♥ Amanda...
  • Current Music
    Coin Operated Boy
flower sun

(no subject)

I am SO obsessed with the Dresden Dolls.
Especially today. I can't think about anything else.

I love Amanda ♥

  • Current Music
    Dresden Dolls - Coin Operated Boy
flower sun

(no subject)

I managed to contact her (the girl I was talking about in my previous entry) through mail. She's German but *phew* I'm glad her English is good enough to understand my cry for help about contacting me through hotmail =P. She immediately asked whether I had a bf or not...=S I never know what to say when someone asks me through mail (which usually means I don't know the person very well), but I decided to tell her the truth immediately. I mean, why not? Hope I don't scare her off.
And YAY: I quit working today! YAHOOH! =D Now I feel like I really have vacation.
Since last week I've become a total addict to the Inspector Lynley mysteries. And I can't figure out why. It's just when I start watching it, I get glued to the tv and I have to keep watching =P
Since I've got vacation now, I think I'm gonna watch all movies I haven't seen yet next week 8). Which means:
* Hable con ella
* Y tu mama tambien
* Twin Peaks - Fire walk with me
* Lost in Translation (♥ Sophia Coppola)
Oh! And I wanna see Marie Antoinette. But I don't think our tiny theater will show it *sigh*
  • Current Music
    Dresden Dolls - Girl Anachronism
flower sun

(no subject)

OMG this is so annoying...I found this site on which I could learn to speak some languages better. So a girl contacts me by sending an e-mail through the site, but I couldn't open it because I have an Apple Macintosh computer! Argh! It's a great computer, but this is really annoying. Grmbl.
Ok now I'm gonna watch Love my Way. Hopefully it will cheer me up. Or it will make me even more melancholic, but that's ok.
I'm sorry I don't have much time today (A)
  • Current Music
    Girl Anachronism - Dresden Dolls
flower sun

(no subject)

The girl I was crushing on in school just told me that one of her classmates had said: 'How come you know her? She's into girls right?' =O
That sounds like I am hitting on her - and I am, but that's not the point. The way she puts it she makes it sound like gay people hit on EVERYONE... =S But now I can hardly deny that I do, 'cause I am hitting on her...although she doesn't know. And I'm not gonna tell her either! I'm glad I did tell her I'm into girls though. I wouldn't want her to find out that way, that would have seemed like I was hiding it.
But wooh...it struck me that her classmate had said that. Apparently, half the school actually knows I like girls. And I thought only half my class knew! =O How weird is that...

PS. I rewatched (is that even a word?) Virgin Suicides this afternoon. I love it.
  • Current Music
    Air - Highschool Lover